Again

It’s not strength, It’s not courage. Bravery isn’t part of my life.
I miss them, as much or more now as I did when they died. I miss the happiness and the sadness, the shared experiences and the lessons and the arguments, I miss their presence, to be able to pick up a phone or car keys and so easily get their love back into my hands.
I miss the way they were, and I miss the times we never had.
I would let them go, if I could.
I don’t know how.
So I live and I love and I learn, laughing along the way. I hope and I despair.
I try to remember what it was like, when I hadn’t lost anyone. It’s… Blurred.
I try to say the things that matter, in the moment that it counts, while I still have a chance. I try to make this all seem worth it. I hold onto what I have, a legend of a love story. I try to be worthy of it all.

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