Just

And it goes. We live and we love and hopefully we learn, a bit, here and there. It could be that we adopt the quirks of the place in which we find ourselves; accents are ever-changing in this world and it makes me wonder so many things. If I had never loved I’d have never lost and contrary to what I was always told, it seems that may be the preferable situation. The wisdom of age is realizing that the people you used to think were so grown up and mature were a lot younger than you are now, and they were probably guessing at life like you have been, like I do. I wouldn’t take away the times and memories I made with my sister, the too-few hopes I lost when my nephew died, I wouldn’t exchange the moments I remember from my childhood around my grandmother for anything, except maybe another chance. Chances are most people won’t read this, most people don’t do shit that has anything to do with me, but here I write and I share and I’m writing and sharing my own path to realization, hoping I’ll pick up momentum when things go well and praying I can stop when everything is coming up broken. I guess what I’m hoping for is that someday long after I’ve died someone might read the ways I spread my attention and understand life the way I have. I know I’m nothing like a guru, a prophet, hell… I’m a bad credit risk. Don’t bet on me, a howling wolf gets hungry, too. I simply hope that my falls might be explained in a way that might prevent gravity for someone else. If it’s you and you’re reading this and feeling as though I was speaking directly to you, then I suppose I was… Whoever you are. Don’t sell your time for less than it’s worth, a job is just a job but life is going to happen no matter where you are. Give what you can to anyone that has a need. Love as deeply as you can and when/if the day comes that love flies away, feel that all the way to the bone. Let your life live you, let your experience teach you. Beyond all other things I hope you understand how important you are to me, how often I think of you reading in my voice. I was never good at being perfect, but I’m pretty fucking good at giving away my intent. Just…love.

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